Let It Go, It'll Flow

I had a thought the other day – I am open to crying and actually enjoy this newfound openness. For those who have met me in the past couple years, this may not seem like a surprise, but for those from way back when know that I would go long periods without crying, perhaps even years. At that point in time, I used to pride myself of the fact, but now being more open, I realize that it was not something to be proud of. Not in any judgmental way, but rather because I realized that all that time, I was numb to the experiences of my life.

I can thank several factors for this, but namely my deepened Yoga and Meditation practice (and of course, my mentor’s obsession with intense backbends). As anyone who has embarked on this path can attest, it is a long and difficult process, but well worth it (and even that is a huge understatement). As Jack Kornfield says in his book A Path with Heart, “It is the place of feeling that binds or frees us.” He goes on to say that feelings control most of our inner life, yet we are unconscious of them. As a result, we have adapted a style of contraction and suppression in regards to our feelings. Unfortunately, “showing emotions” is not seemly for a man, and only certain emotions are allowed for women.

Some people might actually prefer not being in touch with their feelings, especially the negative ones. But as any Mind-Body worker can tell you, feelings get retained as memory – not just in the brain but all the way down to the cellular level. Repressed trauma caused by overwhelming emotion can be stored in a body part, affecting our ability to feel that part, or in more serious cases, even move it.

One important point often brushed off as untrue is that all honest emotions, regardless if they are perceived as positive or negative by societal standards, are positive emotions. We need anger to define boundaries, grief to deal with our losses, and fear to protect ourselves from danger. As leading Pharmacologist and researcher Candace Pert says in her book Molecules of Emotion, it’s only when these feelings are denied, not easily nor rapidly processed through the system and released, that the situation becomes toxic.

Toxic – This opens a whole can of worms, ranging from the six levels of disease in Ayurveda to Caroline Myss’ study in the field of energy medicine that shows how every illness corresponds to a pattern of emotional and psychological stresses, amongst other things. No matter how you look at it (at least from the Mind-Body perspective), holding in emotions is a no go.

‘What can we do?’ you ask, now knowing what you know? Well, the not-so-easy step would be to let the feelings pass through you. As my good friend says, “If you resist, it’ll persist. Let it go, it’ll flow.”