Nature Lessons: Letting Go

Despite the typical Montreal spike in mercury this week, it is undeniable that fall is well on its way. In the city, the leaves are slowly beginning to turn their welcome yellow, orange and red, and some trees are beginning to shed their leaves. While walking one day and witnessing the leaves fall, I noticed how the trees didn’t resist letting them go. The trees don’t grip tighter at the leaves, throw a tantrum, or make excuses. They simply let the leaves fall.

I’m obviously telling you nothing new, but my question is this – why is it that what is so natural and accepted in nature so difficult to imitate in life? In my personal experience, when something is no longer serving me – a relationship, a friendship, a job, a habit, a daily task or chore – I resist letting it go. I create stories as to why I should hold on to it while secretly worrying about what will happen if I let it slip though my fingers.

What then (mostly because I grew tired of resisting what I already knew deep down)? Soften. I began softening in my yoga practice to un-do years of holding on – clenching my jaw, tensing my shoulders, furrowing my eyebrows. I softened my desire to do things right and perfect. When I started letting go of the things that I was holding on to, not serving me or my yoga practice, and taking up my energy, it got (incrementally) easier to see what I was holding on to so tightly in life. As scary as it was, the habits, relationships, and friendships I let go of with less resistance created discomfort for a while, then space and freedom, followed by new relationships, friendships, and habits that I mindfully chose to give my time and energy to.

My lesson learned: When we soften, we let our defences down. This isn’t a bad thing; we can live more proactively and less reactively as a result. As Tibetan Buddhist master Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche said, “We must continue to open in the face of tremendous opposition. No one is encouraging us to open and still we must peel away the layers of the heart.”