The acronym RAIN - recognize, allow, investigate, non-identification - was created by Michelle McDonald and popularized by Tara Brach. Often taught as a tool to deal with overwhelming emotions, this twist on a more traditional RAIN practice is guided so that it can be an essential technique you refer to regardless of what your current experience is.

When sayings like “forgive and forget" are commonplace, being quick to forgive someone without ever really tending to your own hurt feelings, or letting someone back into your life despite your better judgment. For these reasons (and more), forgiveness can be a challenging and  commonly misunderstood quality. Forgiveness doesn’t condone the past, doesn’t mean you need to stay connected to anyone who has caused you pain, nor is weak or naive. It takes time and is really about not leaving anyone out of your heart, including yourself, for any hurt that may have been caused.

Some days, the thought of loving ourselves can feel impossible, while other days it can feel selfish, leading us to offer love to others instead of ourselves. But it’s imperative that we start with ourselves, much like how we are told in an airplane to secure our own oxygen mask before helping others.